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Sunday, 21 October 2007

Police Officers

Posted on 17:39 by Unknown
How do you tell the difference between an American Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer, and a Canadian Police Officer?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER
Answer: (Immediate thought processes)

  • Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?
  • Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?
  • Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?
  • Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?
  • Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?
  • Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone including his dog?
  • Is the alleged "client" a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?
  • Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean streets?
  • Is he a member of a gang that is just "misunderstood" by society?
  • Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how to approach the police?
  • Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back into the community?
  • Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome and just doesn't understand what he is doing?
  • Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group?

Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER

Answer: BANG!

AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER

Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.... (reload) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. (call for supervisor)
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